Memorable quotes from the Miami Mutilator Sandy Cohen during Season 1 of The O.C.. For quotes from other seasons, see Memorable Quotes by Sandy Cohen.

The Model HomeEdit

Sandy: Since the minute you were born I knew I would never get thick skin.

The DebutEdit

Ryan: You just stabbed me again.
Sandy: Oh, sorry.

Sandy:I have annihilated all the other ninjas!

The GambleEdit

Sandy: Well. I should be off. Gotta find the next kid to jeapordize the community. Maybe a black kid. Or an Asian kid.

The GirlfriendEdit

Sandy: Are we worried your dad won't love us if we don't feed him enough?
Kirsten: Alright, starting now, no more digs at my dad.
Sandy: Oh no, that wasn't a dig. Seth, was that a dig?
Seth: No. When you called him a heartless bastard, that was a dig.
Sandy: You sold me out.

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.
Sandy: Okay. Oh no, no wait. I can't. I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system, I promise.
Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like.
Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid.
Kirsten gives him a look.
Sandy: I am on fire.

The EscapeEdit

Kirsten: After 15 years? There's no way he's selling out.
Sandy: Well, it'd have to be one hell of a free meal.
Seth: And that's what they call a callback in comedy, Ryan.

Seth: This is gonna be awesome.
Sandy: She's hot stuff, son.
Seth: And now it's ruined.

The RescueEdit

Kirsten: I'm sure she'll apologize.
Sandy: You are? This is Julie Cooper we're talking about.

Sandy: Well, this doesn't suck.

Sandy: If you can't tell your dad, who can you talk to?
Seth: Gee, I don't know. Ryan, Mom, that tree over there.
Sandy: You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Seth: When are you leaving?

The HeightsEdit

Kirsten: Doesn't Seth look rad?
Sandy: Seth does look rad. Mad props, son.

The HomecomingEdit

Kirsten: You think Ryan's okay?
Sandy: I think he'll be okay. He needs to do this.
Kirsten: Okay. Let me get in there, do some flipping.
Sandy: No no! Honey, honey! Seth really likes corn.
Kirsten: How do you expect me to get better?
Sandy: I don't. I'm sorry, but I don't. I'm sorry, but the boys and I made a pact.
Kirsten: A pact?
Sandy: A solemn promise.
Kirsten: When?
Sandy: You were in the bathroom.

Sandy: So Anna, what's the deal? You're parents don't believe in celebrating the genocide of the American Indian?

Sandy: Look, Jimmy's a good guy.
Rachel: He's a thief.
Sandy: And you're a lawyer, so it's a perfect match.

Sandy: Ah! the gruesome twosome!

The SecretEdit

Sandy: And you're going to yogalates.
Kirsten: You just like saying that.
Sandy: Yogalates? Yeah, I kinda do. Yogalates?
Ryan: Yogalates.

The CountdownEdit

Sandy: She's either run out of money, or ... she's run out of money.

Sandy: GPS Lady says turn left, I'm going right!

Sandy: Sandy Cohen. Pleasure swinging with you.

Sandy: I should really learn how to knock. In case there's a threesome going on in my bedroom.

The Third WheelEdit

Ryan: All her friends want to kick her ass. Sorry about the language.
Sandy: Why? I want to kick her ass.

Sandy: Hey, Connect Four was happening. It gets my blood up.

The LinksEdit

Sandy: Oh god, the ugly Americans are coming back.

Kirsten: Pumpkin muffin?
Sandy: Yes, darling?

The TruthEdit

Sandy: The next time you feel like using your fists, you better open your mouth and talk. That's what I'm here for.

Julie: Hey, you guys wanna join us? We're celebrating my new position.
Sandy: Ohhh, not gonna touch that one.

Sandy: Give me the keys. Give me the keys.
Ryan: You said if I needed your help, I could come to you.
Sandy: Give me the keys... I'll drive.

The HeartbreakEdit

Seth: I need advice on girl stuff.
Sandy: You've come to the master.

(Kirsten snickers)

Sandy: Hey, I got you.

Kirsten: Sometimes you make it so hard to hate you.
Sandy: I know!

The TelenovelaEdit

Kirsten: He's a consultant.
Sandy: Could you be please be a little more vague?
Kirsten: He knows people.
Sandy: You did it! That was more vague!

The Goodbye GirlEdit

Sandy: Do you want to know what I think?
Ryan: You're going to tell me either way, right?
Sandy: Like my own son.

Sandy: I promise you, I'd rather send you to jail that get in bed with your father.

The ProposalEdit

Sandy: I like to anticipate the worst at all times. It's a Cohen family trait.

Kirsten: My dad is marrying Julie Cooper.
Sandy: Maybe you need another bottle.

Sandy: I had no choice.
Jimmy: You could have told me about Caleb and asked me to bow out.
Sandy: Like I said, I had no choice.

Sandy: That's the biggest you could do? As big as a badass like you?

The ShowerEdit

Kirsten: So he bought your acceptance?
Sandy: At a really high price.

Kirsten: I have some concealer upstairs you can use. Works miracles.
Sandy: She's right. You should see her without it. Horrible.

Sandy: Don't try and fix this, kid. I'm your guardian and I get to call the shots. Now get out of the car.

Kirsten: I am never throwing another party again.
Sandy: Don't tease.

The StripEdit

Sandy: So, Cay-Cay, what have you been doing all this time?

Sandy: According to Seth it is ground zero for aging hipsters like you.

Sandy: You might want to retract that. Because, according to you, Caleb's moving in.

Kirsten: There are four male strippers, dressed as firemen dancing in our living room.
Sandy: Theme-stripping. You gotta love that.
Kirsten: Oh, wait, now they're not dressed as anything at all.
Sandy: Try to keep them off of the furniture, honey.

The Ties That BindEdit

Kirsten: A daughter wants her father to be happy on his wedding day.
Sandy: See, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

Sandy: So that's why you wanted us out of the restaurant. Why you snaky... not so successful son of a bitch.

Sandy: Denial is a very effective coping mechanism.

Sandy: Just because you're leaving doesn't mean I'm letting you go.

Sandy: Now, come on, get dressed. You're about to witness the most unholy of unions.

Sandy: And Kirsten's not even a hugger.